You are currently in possession of some equipment that will need to be returned, including my hoodie and AirPods. — “​​Google parent Alphabet Friday said it is laying off 12,000 employees or about six percent of the workforce in the latest in a long line of tech layoffs. ‘The fact that these changes will impact the lives of Googlers weighs heavily on me, and I take full responsibility for the…

Me, with my high school boyfriend (he had a car)

Greetings, extended relatives! It is I, King Viserys Targaryen, first of his name, sending this message to you via raven. Consider this correspondence an invitation to our first ever family reunion in King’s Landing! I believe a reunion would give us a fantastic opportunity to focus on what unites us…

I’ve finally realized the truth: everything is definitely my fault — Hey, it’s me, a millennial. Recently, a strategist said that millennials were to blame for the current economic downturn, and it really got me thinking. From the moment I entered adulthood in the midst of a massive recession, it’s felt like nonstop once-in-a-lifetime historic events. Sometimes it’s seemed impossible to…

Pope John Paul II: “Release two plumes of white smoke from the watchtower and say three Hail Marys, if by sea.” — Paul Newman “Kid, the next time I say the British are coming, the British are coming.” Paul McCartney “British coming in the dead of night Lanterns hung will guide you by their light All your life You were only waiting for the soldiers to arrive” Pope John Paul II “Release two…

Greetings to all humans on the hunt for a great Halloween vacation! If you’ve found your way to our site, that means our SEO has done the trick and lured — er, led you to just the right place. VampiresFeast.com is the best resource for all your spooky travel. …

In the event of a severe flood, please remain at your home workstation until the water has reached your knees — Dear Employees, We know the last year and a half has been incredibly difficult for you. Through massive social injustice, a global pandemic, and catastrophic weather patterns, you’ve had a lot of questions. Questions like, “What can I do if I’m unable to work during an illness?” “Will I be…

I ate a donut and ruined my radical diet where you don’t eat sugar or anything associated with girliness, joy and positivity. — **By Catherine Weingarten and Kelley Greene** “[Gwyneth] Paltrow also admitted that the ceaseless stress of an unprecedented medical emergency sparking chaos across the globe pushed her into the warm, welcoming arms of gluten. Hence, alongside those two alcoholic cocktails, Paltrow even found herself “making pasta and eating bread.”- Forbes, 2021

The new Apple gas mask, iFilter. Acid rain that will get you high. No one trying to convince you that you’ll like seafood if you “just try it” because all ocean life is dead. More time indoors with Netflix under a weighted blanket. No longer needing Instagram filters as the…