Medium

Kelley Greene

she/her

Pinned

In

Slackjaw

by

Kelley Greene

·

Mar 4, 2021

Let Me Tell You About My New MLM, The Borg

I know what this sounds like, but let me assure you — The Borg is not a pyramid scheme!

Let Me Tell You About My New MLM, The Borg

In

Slackjaw

by

Kelley Greene

·

Oct 31, 2025

Just Because This is The Twilight Zone Doesn’t Mean Your Kid Can Put His “Creations” In My Cornfield

Where am I supposed to put all of this, and why has it become my responsibility?

Just Because This is The Twilight Zone Doesn’t Mean Your Kid Can Put His “Creations” In My Cornfield

In

The Belladonna Comedy

by

Kelley Greene

·

Jan 29, 2025

In Defense of Posting My Son’s Nighttime Erection Data Online

It’s not like I’m posting our entire hogs on the timeline.

In Defense of Posting My Son’s Nighttime Erection Data Online

In

The Belladonna Comedy

by

Kelley Greene

·

Jul 25, 2024

How to Humor: Dealing with Rejection

Shake it off, shake it off!

How to Humor: Dealing with Rejection

In

The Belladonna Comedy

by

Kelley Greene

·

Mar 8, 2024

Welcome to The Glasgow Belladonna Experience

The Belladonna Newsie is back in full swing and excited for Spring!

Welcome to The Glasgow Belladonna Experience

In

The Belladonna Comedy

by

Kelley Greene

·

Feb 23, 2024

Birth Announcement From Your Friends That Live In A Bus

We are thrilled to share this newsletter announcing the birth of our 5th child, Tundra.

Birth Announcement From Your Friends That Live In A Bus

In

Slackjaw

by

Kelley Greene

·

Oct 2, 2023

Enjoy Your Flight Next To Me, The Worst Person On This Plane

I’m sure you’re wondering why my feet are exposed, and it’s because I took my shoes off as soon as I sat down.

Enjoy Your Flight Next To Me, The Worst Person On This Plane

Kelley Greene

·

Jul 25, 2023

Pixelated Space Girl

A frame-by-frame analysis of NSYNC’s 1997 “I Want You Back” music video

Justin is leaning against glass facing the camera and the other guys are leaning on each other looking forlorn while weird metallic looking shapes feature in the background and also partially obscure them

In

The Belladonna Comedy

by

Kelley Greene

·

Jan 26, 2023

Layoff Announcement From Your High School Boyfriend

I need to reduce my girlfriend headcount by 50%. Unfortunately, your position has been eliminated.

a smug-looking blond boy with glasses wearing a blazer holds up his cell phone while looking in to the camera

In

Greener Pastures Magazine

by

Kelley Greene

·

Jan 18, 2023

People Who Have Made Less Concessions Than Kevin McCarthy

Me, with my high school boyfriend (he had a car)

People Who Have Made Less Concessions Than Kevin McCarthy

Kelley Greene

Kelley Greene

she/her

Writer and performer based in Chicago. Sentient wheel of cheese, found online at kelleygreene.pizza or Twitter/Instagram @kelleygreene

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