Kelley Greene – Medium

Kelley Greene

she/her

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Published in
Slackjaw

Let Me Tell You About My New MLM, The Borg

I know what this sounds like, but let me assure you — The Borg is not a pyramid scheme!

Mar 4, 2021

Let Me Tell You About My New MLM, The Borg

Mar 4, 2021

Published in
The Belladonna Comedy

In Defense of Posting My Son’s Nighttime Erection Data Online

It’s not like I’m posting our entire hogs on the timeline.

Jan 29

In Defense of Posting My Son’s Nighttime Erection Data Online

Jan 29

Published in
The Belladonna Comedy

How to Humor: Dealing with Rejection

Shake it off, shake it off!

Jul 25, 2024

How to Humor: Dealing with Rejection

Jul 25, 2024

Published in
The Belladonna Comedy

Welcome to The Glasgow Belladonna Experience

The Belladonna Newsie is back in full swing and excited for Spring!

Mar 8, 2024

Welcome to The Glasgow Belladonna Experience

Mar 8, 2024

Published in
The Belladonna Comedy

Birth Announcement From Your Friends That Live In A Bus

We are thrilled to share this newsletter announcing the birth of our 5th child, Tundra.

Feb 23, 2024

Birth Announcement From Your Friends That Live In A Bus

Feb 23, 2024

Published in
Slackjaw

Enjoy Your Flight Next To Me, The Worst Person On This Plane

I’m sure you’re wondering why my feet are exposed, and it’s because I took my shoes off as soon as I sat down.

Oct 2, 2023

Enjoy Your Flight Next To Me, The Worst Person On This Plane

Oct 2, 2023

Pixelated Space Girl

A frame-by-frame analysis of NSYNC’s 1997 “I Want You Back” music video

Jul 25, 2023

Justin is leaning against glass facing the camera and the other guys are leaning on each other looking forlorn while weird metallic looking shapes feature in the background and also partially obscure them

Jul 25, 2023

Published in
The Belladonna Comedy

Layoff Announcement From Your High School Boyfriend

I need to reduce my girlfriend headcount by 50%. Unfortunately, your position has been eliminated.

Jan 26, 2023

a smug-looking blond boy with glasses wearing a blazer holds up his cell phone while looking in to the camera

Jan 26, 2023

Published in
Greener Pastures Magazine

People Who Have Made Less Concessions Than Kevin McCarthy

Me, with my high school boyfriend (he had a car)

Jan 18, 2023

People Who Have Made Less Concessions Than Kevin McCarthy

Jan 18, 2023

Published in
Slackjaw

You’re Invited to a Targaryen Family Reunion!

I cannot stress this enough: please, no murdering. This is meant to be a fun, relaxing time to get to know each other!

Sep 22, 2022

You’re Invited to a Targaryen Family Reunion!

Sep 22, 2022

Kelley Greene

Kelley Greene

she/her

Writer and performer based in Chicago. Sentient wheel of cheese, found online at kelleygreene.pizza or Twitter/Instagram @kelleygreene

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